Home Alone
by Lanie L Sullivan
Summary: An exploration of Lee's thoughts about living his life alone after trying to say goodbye to Amanda in "The First Time." Based on the challenge word, "Isolation." One-shot


Disclaimer: "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The plot is mine, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

Author's Note: Challenge word: Isolation. A one-shot filler for the first episode to explore Lee's thoughts after his conversation with Amanda about his loner tendencies.

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 _I hope you don't go to those singles bars...Do you have someplace to go Thanksgiving?...You've heard the word...LONER!_ That conversation kept haunting him, especially that last word...loner. While it hadn't been the end of their conversation, that word kept echoing through his mind. He took a swig from the glass of scotch in his hand as he wandered aimlessly through his empty apartment, trying to avoid reflecting back on the events that had led him to feel that becoming a loner was his only recourse. Getting close to people just...hurt...too damn much.

He let out a deep sigh as he sank down onto his sofa, idly shaking the cocktail in his hand, only vaguely registering the sound of the ice tinkling against the glass. He thought about his self-imposed isolation. It had been working for him, so why should that one conversation with a bubbly, overly-exuberant housewife change that, especially since he wasn't likely to ever see her again?

True to what he'd told her when they'd parted, he was planning to get good and drunk, but he was finding that he couldn't stop thinking about her words to him enough to even enjoy his drink. What was it about her that had caused him to be more open that he'd intended to be? He vividly recalled his bitter tone when he'd snapped at her, "A partner is a guy who laughs at your jokes, loans you his socks, and then one day, he takes a bullet in the head for you." He'd abruptly realized that he'd said too much when he saw the sympathetic look on her face, her wide brown eyes full of sadness as she'd asked, "Were you...friends for a long time?" He couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough.

He didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to open up, didn't want her to know how damaged he was or the real reason he had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving. Most of all, he didn't want anyone's sympathy, least of all, hers. She didn't even know him and couldn't possibly understand why he liked his isolated life just the way it was. After a clipped response of "Not long enough," he'd vigorously shook her hand and departed with his nonchalant mask firmly back in place.

He chugged the rest of his drink in one swallow and meandered back to the bar to pour another one. What was the use of dwelling on the past as she'd expected him to? It wouldn't change anything. It wouldn't bring back Andy...or Dorothy...or his parents. It wouldn't have stopped Eva from marrying someone else and ripping his heart out. It wouldn't make his hard-as-nails uncle treat him like the family they were supposed to be, instead of as a duty to be carried out in the same way that he carried out orders in the Air Force.

"Why am still thinking about this?" he questioned aloud to the empty room as he sipped at his refilled drink. "It's not like I'm ever gonna' see her again. Who the hell cares what she thinks?" Her part in his investigation was over, not there was much of an investigation now that he'd been suspended. They hadn't been able to recover the package so he no longer had any need for her...or anyone else for that matter.

He was pulled from his reverie by the ringing of the phone. He let out a groan as he rose and walked toward his desk to answer it. As he listened to booming voice of his boss on the other end, his face paled...another agent had been killed and despite Billy's earlier anger with him, he was needed. "Yeah," he responded. "I'll get right on it." He hung up the phone and began to make his way back to his bedroom to clean himself up before venturing out, but was stopped by a second ringing of the phone.

"What now, Billy," he snapped into the receiver when he answered it. "Oh...Amanda...what do you want?" He shook his head and rolled his eyes. as she yammered on about her son. Glancing at his watch, he interrupted her, "Okay, okay, as entertaining as this story is about your kid having a bad habit of opening Christmas presents early, does it have a point?"

He listened a moment longer and his eyes lit up once she'd finally gotten to the point. "You want me to meet you where?" He suppressed a laugh at her suggestion, but he needed the information she had now that he was back on the job so he agreed.

A couple of days later, he figured he'd finally be able to get rid of the too-nosy housewife and her knack for unwittingly butting into his private business. That grated on his nerves to no end. Didn't she understand personal boundaries? It's not as if he'd asked her into his life, just to do a simple favor because he'd been desperate at the time. He wasn't looking for a new friend and certainly not a divorced mother of two who had to have baggage of her own. He had Billy and Francine and they knew him well enough to know not to overstep their bounds and pry too much. Amanda didn't, which was why he couldn't wait to have her out of his life permanently. He'd been sure that once her debriefing had been wrapped up, that would be it, but then Billy had insisted on hiring her, even jokingly referring to her as his new partner. It had to be a joke, right? He didn't work with partners, not since Andy. It was like he'd told her, he happened to like being alone...didn't he?


End file.
